Dear Del,
I have been dating this boy for over a year. We both love each other very much, but there is something that we are disagreeing about.
We recently tried to talk to each other about sex. He said that he feels ready for it, but I told him that, ever since I was young, I promised myself that I wouldn’t have sex until I was married. I think the idea of sharing myself for the first time with my husband is very sexy, but he says he’s not sure he can wait that long. We are still in high school, so marraige is a long way off, but I don’t want to break my promise. What should I do?
Dear
You have a very difficult problem. Boys of that age have raging hormones, and since you are both very young who’s to say that you will get married? Things and people change and you both may feel differently when you’re out of school or beyond. Many girls your age are already having sex with their boyfriends. You are a rare bird and I respect your wanting to wait til you’re married — but there’s one thing you should consider and I don’t mean to advocate pre-marital sex, but in my personal opinion I would not marry anyone without having sex with them first. But since you are not in a position to get married for a while, keep your virginity until you are in that position, whether it is with your current boyfriend or someone else you meet along the way. If whatever relationship you get into make sure it’s the man you love and want to marry and he really loves you and wants to marry you. In that case I would make love with him (after going together for at least 6 months). Sex is a very important part of a successful marriage especially when you are young and if it is not good you should find out before you marry. In these times most men will probably not wait a long time to find out if you are sexually compatible. But in closing and after having said the above, I think you should do whatever you believe is best for you. Good Luck!
Sincerely,
Del