Dear Del,

I have been dating this boy for over a year now. We are both in high school. He is the most wonderful boy I have ever met, and is my first boyfriend. I know this isn’t just puppy love.

The problem is, we are both so young that I am wondering if I can keep this relationship going. We both love each other very much, and I don’t doubt him, but I have heard from many places that relationships are hard to keep up for a long time. I’m worried if it will be hard to stay together through high school, or college. I want to stay with this boy and wouldn’t give him up for the world.

Dear Alice,

Whether or not you can keep the relationship going is strictly up to you guys and how strong your feelings are for each other.  But remember you are both really young and will be exposed to many more people thru high school and college and as you both get older you may change.  Nothing is guaranteed in life.  Just enjoy what you have today and stop worrying about the future.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I’m in this new relationship with this guy i’ve had my eye on for a while and its going great except one thing, My best guy friend whom is like a brother to me, keeps trying to “talk to him” when I tell him just the little fights I get it. My friend is trying to “help me out” I know, but when I tell him everything is okay now and we’re not mad and me and my boyfriend came to a nagotiation, he still says he’s going to talk to him which is more like yelling and cussing him out. Now my friend is telling em “goodbye forever” because I told him not to talk to my bf. What should I do? I don’t want to loose my guy-friend because of my boy-friend.

Dear Harmony,

First of all, stop telling your guyfriend about your fights or arguments with your boyfriend.  If your guyfriend can’t understand and respect your wishes in  not wanting him to talk to your boyfriend, then he is not much of a friend.  Just tell him in a nice way that you appreciate his wanting to help but it’s better if you handle your problems in your own way.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

My boyfriend is 24 and I am 23 years old (female). We have been dating for 3 years, and are in love, and looking to get married within the year. One thing makes me very worried. We stopped having sex, more like, I stopped wanting to have sex with him. The frustrating thing is, I know why, I tell him, and he get annoyed when you give him advice and doesn’t like to be “told what to do”. I get irritated because I tell him that I wish he could kiss me and make out with me, because he loves me and enjoys my company, but he thinks if kissing doesn’t lead to sex, what’s the point. So every time he kisses me, I feel pressured to have sex, even if I want the kisses, but I’m not in the mood to have sex. He’s just not very good in bed, but sometimes the sex is great (this is a few occasions), other times, most of the time, he just does what he wants to do. I don’t want to be 23 and in a dead end relationship already. I’m too young. There are so many great things about him, he is a great man, kind, hard working, loving, but he takes hard to criticism, because he’s sensitive. I have never cheated on a boyfriend before, but for the first time in my dating life, I have been thinking about ex boyfriends and guys I’ve met, just becasue it’s the only thing that gets me in the mood. I have NO sex drive anymore. Is something wrong with me. Every time he wants to have sex, I’m just….tired. I’m 120 lbs so it’s not obesity, what could this be?

Dear Amelia,

I really hope you take my advice even if it’s hard to do.  Do NOT, I repeat DO NOT MARRY THIS MAN!!!  When you say “you tell him”  I assume you are trying to tell him how you feel and what you like in bed.  Kissing without sex is called “affection” and if that doesn’t go with love it’s not a love that I would want or wish on anyone.  He is a selfish lover and any man who won’t listen when his mate trys to tell him what she likes is a man who will never experience great sex because the more a man pleases his woman, the greater sex partner she will be.  He can’t be very intelligent if he won’t even listen to you and your needs and wants.  We are all sensitive but if you could sit him down and explain how you feel in a gentle, non-judgemental way, maybe that will work.  If it doesn’t and you can’t communicate with him about this now, imagine how life would be with this man if you married him.  You are just telling him what pleases you and because of his thinking you don’t even want sex with him anymore.  You must be very honest with him and if he remains the same, leave him.  There are plenty of fish in the sea and I’m sure you can catch a better one!  You are very young and should have a good sex drive and I’m sure you will when you meet the right guy who will listen to your needs and do everything he can to please you.  Good Luck and keep me posted, but not if you stay with him.  In my opinion he is a loser.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,
I’m married and have feelings for another man. I have been seeing this other man for almost 2 years. Even though the meetings with my other man always contain intercourse, I have grown feelings towards him, and I’m pretty sure he has feeling for me. There are little signs that show that he’s grown feelings for me as well. How do I get him to tell me how he feels for me with out being up front about it? I really do like and possibly love this man, but I don’t want to scare him away. I can’t ever see myself with out him. I constantly think about him through out the day and even in my dreams. I wonder how he is, what he’s doing, if he’s ok, etc. I just don’t know if he does the same for me, how can I get him to tell me how he feels towards me with out putting him on the spot?

Dear Rhonda,

You didn’t say whether or not he is also married.  Often a man will not express more deep feelings if he is married and having an affair.  You don’t find things out without some risk,  so if you really need to know you should try to react to those “little signs” that he shows and show him that you feel more for him than just sex and see where that goes.  If the sex is good don’t worry about scaring him away.  If he clams up that will tell you that either he doesn’t feel more than good sex or he just doesn’t want to talk about more.  Maybe he’s just looking for some extra action.  If he doesn’t share your feelings you should move on so you don’t get hurt.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

Hi..I’m in a six year relationship but i’m falling in love with someone else who is my best friend. But this friend is in love with someone else and i don’t know how to handle it. We both like each other but know that we can’t be togehter. I’ve been pushing my boyfriend away because i’m always thinking about the other guy. How can I get over this situation and not have my heart broken at the same time?

Dear Marissa,

There is really nothing to handle as you said you know that you can’t be together with your best friend.  You just have to accept it.  You will lose your boyfriend if you keep pushing him away and then you will have no one.  Remember this phrase:  You must have the courage to change what you can, have the serenity to accept what you cannot change and have the wisdom to know the difference.  Maybe you should seek someone new as six years is a long time for a relationship and maybe it is stale.  Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

Ok me and this girl started going out and on the third day she asked me if cud just be freinds but just because she was in a relationship b4 and got hurt im not th type of person to be bd like that I’ve never been bad to someone she knows it and told me but she said she just wants time to heal I said yea I understand but now I have a wierd feelinglike if I was tuned down, how can I take away this feeling or do something so I stop thinkin about it

Dear Jose,

You really can’t do anything except exercise your will power to stop thinking about her.  Stay busy, go out with friends and try to meet someone else but keep in touch with her to see if she has had enough time to “heal”.  She may just be trying to let you down easy or really needs more time to start a new relationship.

Sincerely,

Del