Dear Del,

I have been seperated from my husband since 2005. There is a guy at work that I’m interested in. I think he might be interested in me. Should I go for it? And how do I find out if this guy is really interested in me?

Dear Donna,

Of course go for it!  But before you do full steam, test the waters by being very friendly and even a little flirty and see how he responds.  If he responds in like kind then go from there.  Let him make the first move as he probably will since you’ve been flirting with him.  If he doesn’t maybe he’s married or has a girlfriend.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

This might be kinda odd but Im 16 but Im in big need of advice and was hoping someone other then my mom can help. I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and 3 weeks I love him alot and I’m so happy with him and yes i know it’s usual to fight, to keep a relationship strong…but we fight a little to much and we disagree on stuff. i don’t like that. And I feel he gets to the point were he can’t handle it and he wants to get away and I get to controlling. I hate when I do it. Im driving Him away and I know it if anything i want to pull away and i want him to chase me not the other way around. but im trying to not be bossy cause i know he hates it. I also don’t wanna seem like im the typical girl were i spend ALL his money….I WANNA split the cost…please help me Im in a real pickle:)…I want to be a better girlfriend and make this work!!!

Dear Christie,

It sounds like you are already helping yourself!  But it is NOT usual to fight to keep a relationship strong.  To keep a relationship strong you must communicate with each other about your differences and agree to disagree!  It’s your ego that wants him to chase you.  Just stop being so controlling as guys hate that.  Be sweet and sexy and when you disagree try to do so without getting mad.  It’s very generous of you to split costs with him and I’m sure he appreciates that but don’t rub his nose in it.  Good Luck and let me know how it goes.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

when is the right time to tell your boyfriend that youve been living with for 5 months that you love hime? and how do you go about doing it?

Dear Beverly,

The right time to tell him, in my opinion, is immediately after he says he loves you.  Of course if you feel that he does but maybe is too insecure or shy to say it first because he is afraid of rejection, then you may want to be the brave one but be prepared that he may not say it back and then how do you think you would feel???

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

Hi, I have been in a relationship with the same man for 14 years: We married after 5 years of dating, wed for 18 months and divorced. We continued to see each other with two breakups in between. Of late a he says a friend put him on facebook, which, unfortunate for him, showed all his email contacts (15), 10 of which were women, which I never heard of save one. We are in interracial relationship and the women were white, save one young black woman, all listed as mutual friends to him. His profile showed him as now single although the profiles in facebook show a box to state whether or not one is in a relationship and a place for the person’s name one is involved with. He listed me last with no picture, which has has plenty of. He chose to list himself as now single and left out any relationship information. On the surface he has been respectful and taken care of my monitary needs when needed. He has also told me he loved me without fail. I take care of his 2 yr old grandaughter when he is working (for 5 months now). He has no one else he says. My question is: What should I make of this turn of events. Is this the sign of a disengenuous person trying to have his cake and eat it to? He says the women are old school chums from his home town. The problem with the black women is she is the last next to last one listed and is too yound to be in our age range (he is 55 and I am 57 soon to be 58). Have I been played for a fool?

Dear Victoria,

You don’t say if you still love him or want him back.  If you don’t then why are you concerned about what he puts on facebook?  Often times people break out cause they just can’t live together but after such a long relationship many still love each other which seems to be his case here.  You are also free and can have your cake and eat it too if you wish. The fact that he still provides for you shows he is a decent man.  Go out and find yourself a younger man like he is talking to younger women!  And if you don’t feel like taking care of his granddaughter any more, then don’t.

Sincerely,

Del