Dear Del,

 
I have been going out with this guy for about two months. He just told me that he got drafted to iraq. We are already in a long distance relationship, but this seems to much. I’m scared that something is going to happen and it is going to be over. He feels a little the same way, and he doesn’t know when he is coming back. Do you think that he will break up with me when he leaves, or is he going to stay with me. Also would it be for a “I don’t want to put you through this” reason or a “Idon’t love you anymore” reason?
Please Help!

 
Sincerely,
Confused and scared

Dear Confused and scared,

Only he can answer your questions.  It seems to me that when a guy is going on a tour of duty to Iraq, he may not come back and therefore may not want to ask you to wait.  Ask him to be perfectly honest with you.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I have been living with my boyfriend for about 6 years and I discovered real photos of other women from his past in my garage posed in “sexy” positions. He doesn’t want to get rid of them and says if I throw them away, he’ll leave. What should I do? He calls me insecure. In a way I feel disrespected, and he still has some connection to some of these women. After all he doesn’t have any pictures of me. I also found a picture of another woman in his wallet at an earlier timein our relationship, but eventually he took it out, but he probably still keeps it some where. What do you think?

Dear Jean,

Well, one thing I think is that many people, men and women alike, like to keep scrapbooks or pictures as they go thru life and I don’t think that’s wrong.  Maybe you are insecure.  Depending upon what kind of connection he still has with some of those other women would lead you to think he’s doing something wrong.  Is his friendship with them more important than his life with you?  Also, after 6 years together don’t you want children and marriage(not in that order usually).  Do you feel that you are growing apart?  Talk with him nicely and honestly and I think you will work it out.  Good communication is probably the most important ingredient for a good relationship.  Also, get him to take very sexy pictures of YOU!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

When your husband wont talk about his feelings. What does it mean?

Dear Monika,

Many men are reluctant to talk about their feelings - you have to try and get them out of him or find out why he refuses to talk.  It may be that he is feeling “estranged” from you.  Have you lost closeness with him?  If you’re not having any other problems why do you need to talk about his feelings?

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

When a guy says he has feelings for you what does that mean?

Dear Denise,

Ask him, not me.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I’ve been in a relationship with this boy for about 9 months, and it seems like it’s going alright, but recently this former co-worker that I had liked when we worked together basically came back and has since started talking to me and hitting on me. I like the attention, and all the feelings I used to have have since resurfaced, and he really wants us to get together, even if it’s just a fling…he’s making me reconsider how strong my bond with my boyfriend is. Would it be wrong to hookup with the former co-worker?

Dear Jennifer,

Well, it depends on your feelings for your current boyfriend.  Is it worth giving him up for just a “fling”?  If the other guy said that he  even  would like a fling, he just wants to take you to bed.  I can’t say it’s wrong because you are not legally married but it is probably morally wrong to cheat on your boyfriend.  Give this a lot of thought.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I have been in love with this girl since middle school and she has with me too. we are now 18. we have never dated and i honestly dont know why. i think because we dont want to screw up an amazing friendship. we have had relationships and yet have had feelings for one another and are jealous of our partners. us now being single and in the summer. we talk very often. lately we have been telling each other that we love each other. with her christian beliefs, to her she feels it is not a good idea for us to go out. but i dont understand because she has gone out with no good shmucks and wont go out with me. she is not the hurtful type too. she apologizes for anything she does that i wouldnt even get mad over, she is so sweet and is very considerate of me yet wont be with me. then one afternoon she says that she ‘cant do this anymore’. i am soooo confused. she said that we should talk less to not fall in deeper love cause she ‘cant’. and i just want her to be happy so i listen to her. when i dont speak to her in a few days, she speaks to me first which makes me feel soout of place cause she is the one that brought it up. then when we talked we got lovestruck again, so i told her that i truly loved her. then she said i love you too…’eek i really meant it that time’. that night i didnt sleep till like 7am. she is making me go crazy!! she says that in the future she may see us going out. but i cant wait for who knows how long. I think about how much i love her but then i think about what she says about not talking so much. i need any kind of advice on what i should do with her,any hint on what she is doing to me and why, we mean the world to each other so. how should i act towards her if she sends me thousands of mix signals every time we talk?thanks for you time in reading this!

Dear Josh,

She probably doesn’t want to go out with you probably because she loves you and may be afraid to trust herself as regards to having sex because of her religious beliefs.  The other boys she goes out with probably aren’t that attractive to her.  You are both so young and teenage girls can be a little crazy.  Just ask her why she is giving you such mixed signals.  Be honest and forthright.

Sincerely,

Del