dear del my girlfriend who is pregnant is very bossy and she constantly lies to me and its been going on for a while even before she was pregnant and i have been hearing she is a cheater and she has cheated on me and i realy dont want to be with her and there is this girl that i realy like like whenever i see this other girl she just lights up my world but my girl friend has the tendencies to lie when a relationship goes bad and say her boyfriends raped her and cheated on her i just dont want to end things and not be able to see my baby what should i do?

Dear Jake,

Well, you can’t have it both ways!  If you leave your girlfriend you may have to refute any gossip she says about you and you take the chance that you can’t see your baby.  But if you marry your girlfriend and then apply for a divorce it is likely the judge will give you shared custody.  You should never have gotten your girlfriend pregnant!   Or you can stay in a miserable situation, still see your new girl, but if your present girlfriend finds out she can still make your life miserable and not allow you to see the child.  You are between a rock and a hard place.  Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

My fiance and I have a 7 years age difference and compared to some others that doesn’t seem like a big deal. I have been hurt a lot in past relationships and I guess I still carry a lot of that with me. I am only 22 but I have matured beyond my years. A lot of people say I am a 40 year old woman trapped in a 22 yea olds body. I tend to agree with that. My fiance is almost 30 and lately we’ve been arguing a lot. I’m not sure exactly what my question is, I just dont have anyone to talk to about all the things I feel and what other people see when they look at it from the outside. We aren’t hardly ever intimate and when we do have sex I feel like he just wants me to stop pestering him for it and is in a hurry to get it over. I don’t fear that he is cheating on me. I just dont undestand why thingsare the way they are. Lately I’ve been wondering whether getting married is a good idea. I just got divorced a month ago. I just need some serious relationship advice. I’ve only been in 2 seious relationships and I’m starting to wonder if I can handle a third.

Dear Ashley,

You just got divorced.  Don’t make another mistake and marry your current fiance!  If you are hardly intimate now just think how it will be if you marry him!  Get rid of this man!  Don’t marry anyone unless you are sure they love and desire you.  Maybe it’s his problem but you certainly don’t want to continue with a man who has such a problem and acts like he’s doing you a favor!  A normal man in love does not act this way.  I’m surprised that you do not realize this, especially if you are like a woman of 40.  Please leave this man and seek some professional advice if you can afford it because you don’t seem too knowledgable in the ways of men and love.  Good Luck.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

ive been in love with my friend for over3 years hes not even cute!problem is hes 5years older and has a girlfriend. i love everything about him im depressed when were separated what do i do? i want to cry

Dear Olive,

Well, if he has a girlfriend, that’s that, I think.  If he is interested in you he will let you know.  Move on.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

About 6 months ago I cheated on my wife. For whatever reason I went through a period of about a-month where I came out of my body and started acting in ways and doing things that just were not me and this was one of the results. It may have been a mid0life crisis but it doesn’t matter what I did was wrong and I know it.

Less than a week after this occurred I told my wife about it and since then things have been a real struggle. We are in marriage counciling and even thinking about extensive councling. My wife says she wants to forgive me and move on but she just can’t seem to let this go.

Every now and then (About once a week) she has a major melt-down where she becomes someone I don’t even recognize swearing and tells me to leave, then she breaks down and crys and tells me to forget what she just did.

We have been married for 30 years and together for 37 years (We just renewed our vows) and both of us want our relationship to work.

To complicate things more I was with (2) women during that period of time. My wife only knows about the one, my question is should I tell her about the other? She is devistated already and telling her may push her over the edge.

What do you think?

Dear

First of all you never should have told her - that just relieves your conscience and upsets her terribly and she will never forget it even tho she forgives you.  She will probably never trust you again.  Most definitely DO NOT tell her any more about any other indescretioons!  I suggest you get professional help with your strange behavior.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I am 29 with 1 child and seeing a 5oyr old with 6 kids 4rm 4 different women.2 r 4rm the 1st wife who is stil married 2 him bt hav been on separation for 1oyrs,the other four came afterwards whilst on separation and the last is less than a year.i ve been datng him for 9mnths nw and we plan to marry in 3mnths.i love him and i dnt wnt to lose him bt sometyms i get a bit worried.he says he wil divorce the wife bt has nt done so till now.what can u say about it all?

Dear Bina,

First of all, do not marry this man until you have WRITTEN PROOF of his final divorce!!!  He is 20 years older than you and has had a very poor record of kids with different women - do not add yourself to the group!   My best advice (and you probably won’t take it) to you is to dump this loser and find someone with a better track record.  How can you love a man with this kind of history is beyond me!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I am a girl in her early twenty,s i so much love my fiance,we were in the same university,but now he has graduatd and am alone,we still communicate everyday,but am scared,am i too young to be in a serious relationship?i cant stand breakup with my fiance,am scared

Dear Jite,

No, of course you’re not too young to be in a serious relationship.  If he communicates with you every day, why are you so scared?  Has he indicated that he has changed since he graduated?  Do you guys still live in the same town?  You are either very insecure or have some reason to think that he wants to break up.  Ask him.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I’ve been married for 5 months and i haven t sex with my wife. she’s been thinking bout going back to her ex-boyfriend. what shall i do?

Dear Darren,

Get an annulment.  This is legally possible if you have not had sex.  It’s hard to believe that any woman would marry someone and after such a short time want out.  I also cannot understand why any man would want to stay with a wife who doesn’t want sex.  Maybe something happened between you two to make her decide she wanted to go back to her ex.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

my boyfriend says he loves me, we spend all are time together but i catch him looking at other girls web pages. is he cheating on me?

Dear Melissa,

Men are men and they will always look at other women but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you.  Some men look more than others.  If he is looking a lot at other girl’s web pages, it is possible that he is not getting all his needs filled by you.  Why not ask him?  You don’t mention your ages but younger men may be more likely to have roaming eyes.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

Hi! My boyfriend and I dated for 2 & a half years, he said he loved me and wanted to marry me and have kids already…we began to have trust issues and everything fell apart. We’ve been broken up since dec 09 yet we keep talking and kind of act like we’re still together we text everyday. He says he has feelings but not sure how strong, he says he sees himself alone and likes being alone and is not looking for another relationship. He says he doesn’t know why his feelings changed or how. He says he’s still trying to figure everything out and wants to focus on his schooling. When we spend time together everything is great like as if we were a couple but once we’re apart (I live 3 hours away) everything goes back to him not being sure seeming like he doesn’t have hope in us ever getting back together. He reacts to me not responding right away when he texts me or asks me if I’m talking to anyone. I feel foolish having hope in us getting back together because it doesn’t seem like he does. He says we can just talk and see where it goes…he doesn’t know if we’ll ever get back together. He says “who knows we’ll see in the future.” what should I do?

Dear Dianna,

It seems to me that he has made it perfectly clear.  You should move on!

Sincerely,

Del