Dear Del,

Hello, my question is in regards to a man that I met around 6 months ago. The relationship at first, I’ll admit, was a FWB situation. But over time, we developed a much closer relationship that involved us going on dates, him cooking me dinners and bringing me lunch to work or meeting for lunch most days. We talked almost daily, by text or e-mail, and had sleepovers several times a week, often w/o sex. It was more of a cuddling and watching t.v., talking sort of thing.. He has cried with me, laughed with me, and told me that he is happy every minute he spends with me. For around a month, he has constantly expressed his desire for love and has asked where things are going between us in the future. He also says I am fabulous and beautiful and smart….BUT this past week when I asked him about us, then he cries and tells me he doesn’t see things going toward a long term relationship. Ouch! I am by no means new to dating, and I truly feel he does care, but I’m wondering what has changed, and is this a fall out of love or is this simply a case of him deciding that history has made a future impossible? (he is East Indian immigrant, early 30’s I am Asian, late 20’s.) thanks.

Dear Helen,

First of all, I have no idea what FWB means.  With that said, first he asks where the relationship is going in the future and then he says he doesn’t see it going anywhere!  Something has changed and the only way to find out is to directly ask him what’s going on and why he has changed.  Being of different cultures maybe his family objects to his relationship with an asian person, especially if you are not of the same religious beliefs.  If it’s not that, then it’s possible that he is emotionally unstable, in which case you are better off without him.

Sincerely,

Del