Dear Del,

I am having trouble in my sexual relationship with my boyfriend of 8 months. i’ve tried to communicate my needs to him but he gets his feelings very hurt by it. he isn’t aggressive enough in bed and doesn’t like when i “boss him around”. tonight the situation got very bad and he literally interrupted foreplay to complain. when i explained that the reason why i was being “bossy” was because he wasn’t aggressive enough he went into a monologue about his hurt feelings. additionally i’ve been watching woman online to turn myself on when i masturbate for a few years now, but i prefer to be with men in bed. i haven’t had allot of experience with girls, just some minor stuff when i was adolescent, should i try a girl to see if thats where my frustration lies or should i stay in this relationship and keep attempting to communicate?

Dear Hachi,

From your name I am thinking maybe you’re Asian.  If your boyfriend is also Asian that might explain his lack of aggressiveness and his sensitivity and hurt feelings.  If not Asian I will still give you this advice:  You should tell him that he should be glad you care enough to want to improve your sex life with him.  Be kind and gentle but firm and if he still doesn’t get it, I think you are with the wrong guy!  Many women get aroused by  watching other women making love to each other.  That is nothing to be ashamed of.  You should try it to see if you like it.  You may be bi-sexual.  In any case, your needs require a more aggressive lover and you should have one!  Keep me posted.  Good Luck

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

well here i am once again. its true i did not give anough info. it all started in school, which im still in. well the girl is my girlfriend but the thing is that i have feelings for this one guy, and i dont know what to do. im stuck in two clouds and i dont know how to get rid of one. i know what i want, and i want him, but i dont think that it can happen. it hurts so much not only that im hurting myself but im hurting her too. i have so much to tell him but i cant when he’s right next to me. i need to make my mind up already but i dont know how to deal with this pain anymore..thank you.

Dear Martha,

Is it  a romantic relationship you have with your girlfriend or in straight talk are you bi-sexual?  If you are, but you want him and are not sure you can get him, I would try and find out and if you think you can, then you have to make the decision to get rid of your girlfriend.  If you can’t get him then the decision is obvious:  stay with her.  But first you need to find out about yourself and which sex you want, or if you want both well that’s ok too, but if you want a monogamous relationship with one person then you have to decide which sex you prefer it with.  If you don’t want a monogamous relationship then do what you desire with whom you desire but be very careful. You may benefit from seeking professional help regarding your sexuality.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

im a 19 year old and im bi-sexual..ive been liking this boy name justin for a while now..but he saids hes not into guys..but he flirts with me.. I want to move on but its hard because we work together.. what makes it even worse is his ex-girlfriend works with us also and they still have sex..the managers daughter works with us also she likes him to.. she claims something happen between them..I Asked him about it.. he said” oh well thats not true at all” if he dont want to be more than friends why do he need to lie or defend his actions?? and what should i do??

Dear Kave,

If he says he’s not into guys but flirts with you, it seems to me that he is just “playing” with you.  Forget him and move on.  Stop flirting back and he will get the message.

Sincerely,

Del