Hi Del,
Well, I’ve been talking to my brother’s best friend for the past three months through the internet. I really like him and i believe he likes me too. Yesterday while talking i told him that i was a virgin (shocker im 18) and he said that if we did had sex he would feel like he was taking advantage of me because the feeling might not be reciprocal. I’m scared if having sex with him but then at the same time i want to do it because I feel very compatible with him. I would like to know how long should i wait before having sex with him, and how do i make him want to stay with me and not just “hit it and quit it” because then i would feel bad. If possible i would also like any sex advice you could give me.
Thank you
Mayela

Dear Mayela,

Well, first of all, you should meet him in person and see if you are attracted to each other - you can’t tell this unless you see each other.  Then if you are attracted to him, go out with him a few times and  get to know him better.  Many guys just “hit and run” and for your first time you certainly don’t want that.  Go slow.  See if you like the way he kisses and how he treats you.  Then if you think he’s really interested in you and not just for sex, and if you feel ok about it, go for it but be sure to use protection!  Good Luck and let me know what happens.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del
First off i am SO glad you made this web site. And I have a few questions. First one is I had sex for the first time just yesterday and my whole body is sore. Like all my muscles. Is that normal? And my second questtion is… Is it normal to feel the erge for more sex just a day after your first time?

Dear Danielle,

Wow, the sex you had must have been really hard to make your body so sore but because it was your first time using muscles you are not used to, that may have accounted for that.  Re your second question, who am I to say what is normal after the first time?  Some people feel the urge again so soon after their first time.  You must have really enjoyed yourself and that’s great for a first time.  Remember this:  Normal is as Normal does!  Don’t worry about it unless you become a nymphomaniac and in that case you should seek medical advice.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I have been dating this boy for over a year. We both love each other very much, but there is something that we are disagreeing about.

We recently tried to talk to each other about sex. He said that he feels ready for it, but I told him that, ever since I was young, I promised myself that I wouldn’t have sex until I was married. I think the idea of sharing myself for the first time with my husband is very sexy, but he says he’s not sure he can wait that long. We are still in high school, so marraige is a long way off, but I don’t want to break my promise. What should I do?

Dear

You have a very difficult problem.  Boys of that age have raging hormones, and since you are both very young who’s to say that you will get married?  Things and people change and you both may feel differently when you’re out of school or beyond.  Many girls your age are already having sex with their boyfriends.  You are a rare bird and I respect your wanting to wait til you’re married — but there’s one thing you should consider and I don’t mean to advocate pre-marital sex, but in my personal opinion I would not marry anyone without having sex with them first.  But since you are not in a position to get married for a while, keep your virginity until you are in that position, whether it is with your current boyfriend or someone else you meet along the way.  If whatever relationship you get into make sure it’s the man you love and want to marry and he really loves you and wants to marry you.  In that case I would make love with him (after going together for at least 6 months).  Sex is a very important part of a successful marriage especially when you are young and if it is not good you should find out before you marry.  In these times most men will probably not wait a long time to find out if you are sexually compatible.  But in closing and after having said the above, I think you should do whatever you believe is best for you.  Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Chris,