Dear Del,

I have been great friends with a guy for a couple years now. He has been by my side through a few difficult battles. No matter the distance between us, we never lose touch. he had made a comment to one of my friends about why we never dated, but I do not know what he meant by it. I really care about him and would love to pursue a relationship, but am worried about ruining our friendship. We have hugged, talked, had dinner dates, walks on the beach etc. He moved to Switzerland for 2 years for his company and I miss him. I hadn’t talked to him for a month or so when he called be out of the blue and asked me to come visit him. I do not know how to keep my feelings in check and not let on that I care more about him than just being his friend.

Dear Sarah,

Well, either he is extremely shy or, like you, is afraid to say he wants to be more than friends.  The only way is to go visit him and just be frank and ask him if he wants to be more than friends.  In this life, one must be willing to risk because if you don’t you may never have anything.  Can’t you tell by how he acts and talks to you?   The only way to find out anything is to ask!  If he doesn’t want more, and if that’s ok with you then assure him that you want to remain friends.  Be brave, Sarah.  Just ask him casually and lightly, almost jokingly and then see how he reacts.  Let me know what happens.  Also, when you visit him, if he lives alone, see where he expects you to sleep.  It may be with him!

Sincerely,

Del 

He has always been there for me and I likewise for him. He made a comment when I had dated someone about how lucky by boyfriend was. Was he saying that to be nice, or was he saying that because he wanted to be with me?

We both have the same family values, same interests and had never had a problem talking or being open with each other. I am so concerned about losing him as a friend, I am terrified to talk to him about how I feel.

Dear Del,

I’ve know this guy for a long time. He’s my best guy friend and I’ve always been in love with him but he would rather be friends. After all this time he kissed me and then I haven’t heard from him in a couple weeks. What does this mean??

Dear Bella,

I think it means that he didn’t like the kiss.  Maybe no chemistry.  Just friendship. 

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

i’ve been friends with this girl for years, she recently showed me signals that she was interested in me and wanted me to make a move…i did nothing….ever since that day she has put me on a lower level…we have planned some trips together..we were going to be alone but now she has invited other people…i really like her…i wish i had done something…im spending the next two weekends together with her and dont know what to do now..

Dear Chris,

  What you should do is show her similiar ‘’signals’ like she showed you to express  that you would like to have more than friendship with her.  Remember, “faint heart never won fair lady”.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

My best friend won’t listen to me and I just wanted some outside advice. She has never had a regular relationship. She is well educated and a professional. The problem is that she has never had any requirements. She has always gone out with men that dont have any money. She pays for everthing. Her last boyfriend lived in her apartment and never gave her any money. Most of her relationship he didnt even work. He just sat on the couch while she was at work and at school getting her masters. He had a drug problem hat she later realized. He stole from her. Not only money but would pawn items in the apartment. He would take her car without her permission. He even figured out her atm pin and stole from her bank account. She never pressed charges and continued to allow him to live in the apartment. She was eventuallu kicked out of her apartment because since she had a roommate given to her by the complex her roommate complained and she was told to leave for having someone illegally living in the apartment. He also proabably due to the drugs although he says it is genetical was missing many of his teeth. She was raised middle class in NY. Where not used to people with missing teeth. I feel you should find a guy who can at least afford to have their teeth fixed. She now owes a lot of money. This was in Florida. She moved back after she was done with school. This was the only way she would be able to get away from him. She had to move in back with her parents. She is now planning to move with me. recently she got in contact with an old friend. She feels that he may be her soul mate. The problem is that he lives in Arizona and we are in NY. He wont move cause he has a son who lives there and she feels she cant move to arizona. She wants to visit his. With her earlier boyfriend she met him on vacation and they dated over the phone. Becasue of this she did not see how severe his problems were. I told her to not visit him. Obviously she will like him cause on vacation you only see the good things.Shes one of those people that once she likes you she only commits to you. Shes never dated shes just had one relationship after another. Each relationship lasted a long time although she wasnt happy from the begining. Shes 30. I feel that your not a kid anymore. She needs to wait till we move to brooklyn and find someone close by. What do you think.

Diana

Dear Diana,

Your best friend is a fool.  Don’t bother giving her any advice or you are a fool also!

Sincerely,

Del