Dear Del,

I met a guy over a month ago, we are far way from eachother, he doesn’t rive, lives at home and works three jobs…we text and talk almost everyday but sometimes he just stops answering me or talking, claiming hes been busy or tired or even with family..or work. How do I know for sure if he is really interested in me? H ehas said we can move slow and work things out but this is confusing….?????

Dear Valerie,

If he’s really interested he wouldn’t stop answering you or be too busy or tired.  Forget him, he’s a loser, living with mother and working 3 jobs and living far away makes this one a go nowhere situation.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I met a woman, she lives in CA, I live in NY. I know the distance between us is great, believe me. We had been seeing each other since Jan ‘08 and things were going great between us. She had someone else, prior to me being in her life, but wasn’t getting what she had hoped out of the relationship. I, found what I have always wanted in a relationship with this woman, who has now told me that “she has tried” and she no longer has feelings for me. The “other man” has begun having conversations with her and she is hopeful that something will come of it, while throwing me aside is her way (I feel) she can handle things. What can I do, what should I do? I LOVE, CHERISH, and ADORE this woman. My heart is severely broken and I feel as though I am a broken man. Help, please!

Dear Scott,

Well, first of all you don’t say if you were willing to go live in NY or if she would live in CA.  But if she no longer has feelings for you there is really nothing you can do!  I would not say that she is “throwing you aside” as she was honest in admitting that she no longer had feelings for you.  You don’t mention your age but by the tone and words of your question I think you must be fairly young.  Many have loved and lost and lived on.  I suggest you do the same.

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I started going out with a guy that I really liked. He said he wanted to try a long distance relationship, because he was going to army boot camp in Georgia, 4 days after we started going out. Then, he broke up with me two days later because he said he couldnt handke the long distance, and that he didn’t want to hurt either of us. I still want to be with him. Is it a good idea to wait for him to come back in August and try to get back with him? Do you think he would want to be back with me after these three months that he is gone? I was planning on writing him, and telling him how I feel. Should I do this?

Dear Tina,

After knowing someone only 4 days, I think he was justified in not thinking it was a good idea.  Yes, I would wait for him to come back (it’s only 3 months) but see others in the meantime.  I could not say if he would want to be back with you as I don’t know what he is thinking, but he seems to be a nice guy since he said he didn’t want to hurt either of you.  I would write to him a friendly letter but don’t declare yourself too much.  Let’s see how he answers your letter.  Let him be the one to ask if he can see you when he gets back.  Be cool!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

I am in a long distance relationship I am in NY he is in Germany. We were planning on spending time together during the summer, but now he seems to be a little “cool” on the idea and I can never get him to pin down dates. I love him, but should I move on?

Dear Maggie,

Yes!

Sincerely,

Del

Dear Del,

How can I tell if my boyfreind is telling me the truth about a woman who says is just a friend.

Ours is a long distance relationship for just over 2 years now, and recently I had this gut feeling that something was up. So I snooped in his cell phone and found text messages between him and anothe women.

Talking about dinner and when he should pick her up and other little things that seems like is was a very familar relationship.

I confronted him and at first he just sat there and then he started to deny it then said it was just a freind from work.

When I asked shy why he didn’t tell me he said because he knew I would get jealous.

He lied about the texts and said that there were only two, I told him there were 22 and he said he didn’t keep count.

I want to belive him but I don’t know if I can.

He gave me the womens phone number and said to call her but I think he was just bluffing, and he doesnt’ think tha ti will do it.

We also had jsut talked about the issue of friends of the opposite sex and what was acceptablbe and both agreed that spending time alone with friends of the opposite sex was not something that either one of us would be comfortable with.

So,now I sit here 400 miles away, knowing that he sits across from this woman every day and that they go ourt after work and who knows what else.

I need to know if he lied or is tellinog the truth and if she is just a friend and I’m wrong, do I have a right to not want him to spend time with her alone.

Dear Long Distance Gal:

Your question was very long but I’ll try to address those issues, one by one.  First of all, if your relationship has been over 2 years and all of it long distance it is probably hard to tell if someone is lying when you are not face to face. You don’t mention if you ever see him in person.  My question to you would be why would you be in long distance relationship for 2 years?  Anyway from what you tell me I think he is lying, especially since you checked about the texts.  Call the woman and see whast she says, but she will undoubtedly confirm whatever he tells you.    Of course you have a right to tell him what you want but he doesn’t have to do it.  I would advise you to forget him and find a boyfriend who lives near you.  It sounds like this guy wants to have his cake and eat it too!

Sincerely,

Del