Questions related to ‘Age differences’

Is 19 Years Too Much?

Sunday, June 28th, 2009

 

Dear Del,
me and the man i am with are 19 years apart and its not easy to be with him. how do i get to his level? im 19 and he is 38 but we do love each other how do i mature? and stop walking out everytime im mad?
Dear Michele,
You didn’t tell me what you are mad about but one way to mature more is to NOT walk out when you get mad.  Maturity just must come with age but many older people are also immature so if it is in your nature you will naturally mature as you age. If you still walk out mad when you get older you are not maturing.  You can’t get to his level because you are 19 years apart!  Is he complaining that you are not at his level?  If he is then he is not very mature expecting you to be at his level when 19 years is the age difference.  There are some things you can do depending upon what levels you want to achieve.  You can read books, go to museums and cultural events, etc.  I don’t think 19 year differences make for good relationships.
Sincerely,
Del

Posted in Age differences | No Comments »

Dead Set Against Marriage

Monday, June 15th, 2009

Dear Del,

I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 5 years. For the last few years, we have been great. We get along, just like every couple, we have spats, but overall a really good relationship.

He is older than me by 19 years. Lately, I have felt the need to settle down, and get married. He is divorce, and id dead set against marriage, or even living together. We parted ways yesterday, I miss him terribly…

Now I am not sure, if I pushed too hard?

Lost and confused

Dear Lost Without Him,

He’s probably had a bad marriage and maybe already has kids and since he is so much older than you doesn’t want any more.  So if you want marriage and children which is very normal, I wouldn’t count on him.  If he really loves you and doesn’t want to lose you, he will marry you.  Let’s see if he misses you as much as you miss him.  If you’re willing to give up what you want to keep him go ahead but I think you would eventually resent him and then maybe it will be too late to find another good man.  I would move on.  Time heals all wounds! 

Sincerely,

Del

Posted in Age differences | No Comments »

Cougars

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009
Dear Del,
 
What do you think the long term relationship chances are for a man and a woman who are 20 years apart (woman older), and have hardly anything in common but great sex? 
 
Arlene
Dear Arlene,
 
Well, to put it in one word:  Nil.  If you are 40 or 45 and he is 20-25 (like Ashton & Demi) it’s probably going to last a while especially if you have things in common and similiar values.  BUT, if you are 50 or 60 and he is 30 or 40 and you don’t have things in common, similiar likes and dislikes, similiar opinions on important issues, I think you don’t have a chance in Hell.  Keep having fun while the great sex lasts but don’t commit or move in.
 
Sincerely,

Del

Posted in Age differences | No Comments »

Older Man, Younger Woman

Sunday, May 3rd, 2009

I am a fifty yeaR OLD MAN WHO IS ATTRACTED TO younger women. I am not excited by women my own age. I am also reticent to pursue these younger women because I dont want them to be put off or somehow offended. Also I am a bit afraid of being rejected, What do you suggest, Warm regards, old lech

Dear old lech,

Many older men are attracted to younger women AND many older women are attracted to younger men.  That’s life!  But if you want a younger woman (and many of them prefer older men) you have to summon up the courage to go after them and put aside your fear of rejection.  Everyone is afraid of rejection, some more than others, but remember faint heart never won fair lady!  Just be sure or fairly sure that the object of your affection(desire) is somewhat interested in you, even just as a friend.  No woman, even if she isn’t interested in you as a boyfriend/lover, would be offended by your interest in her.  Keep in mind that most people are insecure in some way and everyone loves attention.  Keep in mind, however, that pure sexual attraction only does not make a good relationship and often a woman your own age or close will have a lot more to offer and there are many women out there who look great and sexy at any age and certainly in their 40’s and 50’s.  

Good luck and let me know how it goes.  I care!

Sincerely,

Del

Posted in Age differences | No Comments »